Next Step in My Life: Graduate School in London?!
A sudden new mail completely broke the "silence" of a quiet Friday night. "Dear Xiaochen, I am pleased to make you this unconditional offer of admission to the MSc in International Political Economy for the 2011/12 session as a full-time student..." the mechanical-sounding email from the Admissions Office sounds, just like it perhaps does to many others receiving around the same time (midnight last night for me, in fact). And many of those people are probably just for joy...even now. After all, it is one of the world's premier social science institutions, the London School of Economics (LSE).
So it is probably not news anymore that I have been working hard for the past few months to find a way out of my current career, primarily through graduate school applications...And few months later, despite that incredibly (in fact, the most, by far) popular post on this blog about how Yale is overrated and just an empty shell beyond its hyped up reputation, it seems like I am ready to once again be in one of those ivy-covered academic environments that are just too full of themselves...but this time in London.
Well, not so much of a smile rather than a frown on my face as I opened up the sudden email. No surprise, no exhilaration, just a few more worries added to my life. I mean, the timing could not have been any worse. With Japan just going through one disaster after another that is somberly defined as "punishment" in some parts, if I come out and say that I am going to leave the country by end of September, it surely would not add any positive image for myself and for all foreigners here, most of whom already disappeared in a mass exodus.
But how to get out may be the least of my problems when it comes to accepting the offer (unfortunately, I am too used to disappearing from one place after a short few months). The bigger issue is how am I going to pay for it. Part of my frown originates from the decline I received with my acceptance...of financial aid, that is. "We have classified you as Overseas for the payment of fees. The fees for your programme are 15888 pounds sterling for the 2011/12 session You may pay either in one lump sum, or in instalments. " The words are like a dagger to my cheap little heart, haha.
Even in the current overinflated value of the Japanese Yen, 15888 pounds is still equivalent to more than 2 million, a sum definitely more than I can save in cash (or more than I have ever had in cash, even after a couple of high-paying summers teaching English in China and Korea). With asking for money from parents not a viable option (well, in a sort of "filial piety" way), an acceptance letter for graduate school just means a few more busy months looking for scholarships (hopefully), loans (if needed), or money-with-strings-attached (at least I would have a job after graduation), etc, etc...
Continuing to glance through the email..."Registration begins 22 September 2011." One short sentence, a long thought. In five words, I was informed that I have five months left in Japan. After spending so much time in my blog questioning various aspects of Japanese society and especially talking about how foreigners will never really fit in Japan, I just do not know if I am really ready to leave in 150 days time.
And that thought is really making me hesitant to proceed, even as paperwork toward grad school piles up. The visa, the registration forms, the applications for finding money to pay for it...all those priorities glide over my head when I think about the fact that all I have now, even though not that much in my little one-room apartment, will be lost as the "reset" button in my life seems to be pressed once again.
However, I do know as well as anyone that once a person stays in a place too long, he or she just cannot muster the emotional strength to cut the ties with that local society. The familiar friends, the familiar neighborhoods, not to mention that familiar workplace and coworkers...the possibility of making a clean cut with them only becomes more and more emotionally burdensome as time passes by. If I want to get out now, the keyword is "ASAP" and should always be...
So it is probably not news anymore that I have been working hard for the past few months to find a way out of my current career, primarily through graduate school applications...And few months later, despite that incredibly (in fact, the most, by far) popular post on this blog about how Yale is overrated and just an empty shell beyond its hyped up reputation, it seems like I am ready to once again be in one of those ivy-covered academic environments that are just too full of themselves...but this time in London.
Well, not so much of a smile rather than a frown on my face as I opened up the sudden email. No surprise, no exhilaration, just a few more worries added to my life. I mean, the timing could not have been any worse. With Japan just going through one disaster after another that is somberly defined as "punishment" in some parts, if I come out and say that I am going to leave the country by end of September, it surely would not add any positive image for myself and for all foreigners here, most of whom already disappeared in a mass exodus.
But how to get out may be the least of my problems when it comes to accepting the offer (unfortunately, I am too used to disappearing from one place after a short few months). The bigger issue is how am I going to pay for it. Part of my frown originates from the decline I received with my acceptance...of financial aid, that is. "We have classified you as Overseas for the payment of fees. The fees for your programme are 15888 pounds sterling for the 2011/12 session You may pay either in one lump sum, or in instalments. " The words are like a dagger to my cheap little heart, haha.
Even in the current overinflated value of the Japanese Yen, 15888 pounds is still equivalent to more than 2 million, a sum definitely more than I can save in cash (or more than I have ever had in cash, even after a couple of high-paying summers teaching English in China and Korea). With asking for money from parents not a viable option (well, in a sort of "filial piety" way), an acceptance letter for graduate school just means a few more busy months looking for scholarships (hopefully), loans (if needed), or money-with-strings-attached (at least I would have a job after graduation), etc, etc...
Continuing to glance through the email..."Registration begins 22 September 2011." One short sentence, a long thought. In five words, I was informed that I have five months left in Japan. After spending so much time in my blog questioning various aspects of Japanese society and especially talking about how foreigners will never really fit in Japan, I just do not know if I am really ready to leave in 150 days time.
And that thought is really making me hesitant to proceed, even as paperwork toward grad school piles up. The visa, the registration forms, the applications for finding money to pay for it...all those priorities glide over my head when I think about the fact that all I have now, even though not that much in my little one-room apartment, will be lost as the "reset" button in my life seems to be pressed once again.
However, I do know as well as anyone that once a person stays in a place too long, he or she just cannot muster the emotional strength to cut the ties with that local society. The familiar friends, the familiar neighborhoods, not to mention that familiar workplace and coworkers...the possibility of making a clean cut with them only becomes more and more emotionally burdensome as time passes by. If I want to get out now, the keyword is "ASAP" and should always be...
Opportunities like LSE do not come around too often. I am sure you will find a way to get there.
ReplyDeleteWell, I am definitely going if I can pay for it...telling people at the company might be an obstacle though...
ReplyDeleteXiaochen! Wish u all best. But who will write book about our company? :)
ReplyDeletehaha, not leaving yet, but have to pay for school somehow...hmmm, maybe finance education with a book about our company?
ReplyDelete